I'll start with the reason I originally made that very unfair statement. Some of my friends do suck from time to time. I spend most of my time (or at least use to) with these people. We are in all the same activities and classes at school and so naturally we just started hanging out last year. The first semester was GREAT! I can't even explain how happy I was then to have such a large group of great friends. Then when second semester started things went sour fast. I started to care more and more every time the group would hang out and they would just "forget" to call me. Or as they like to put it, If I didn't call them, they assume that I was busy. Well that's a load of crap and they knew it. This same thing has been going on since and I have finally had it. I mentioned in my before blog that I went star gazing. Well what I didn't mention at that time was all the drama that had surrounded the event. Best friend and I had planned a big trip for the whole group plus some to all go out to our spot together. I was the one who found out that there was a meteor shower and when the best time to go would be. If I hadn't told them about it they would never have known. But instead they decided to go the night before and just not tell best friend and I. Well of course we found out. And I was hurt. That's the only way to put it. I was upset and frustrated and I cried. I'm sick and tired of caring about these people when none of them care about me. Or even take me into consideration. I don't need friends like these.
My spirits have been a little low lately, due to my crappy friends. But today I started thinking and God is really showing me that I do have some pretty amazing friends. Ex-bf/ best guy friend, who I love with all my heart (in a bff way) is leaving for college tomorrow. *sad face* Yesterday before church I got to go hang out with him and my other boyfriends before church. We went bowling. (yay bowling!) I love hanging out with these guys. They always put me in such a great mood. I feel so important and loved and cared about when I'm with them. You have to understand our relationships. They all have girlfriends so its not like they all swoon over me and I love the attention. No. Its that they have been my friends for years and we understand and just love each other. Anyway, after church we all went back to ex-bf's house to have a going away party thing. His girl was there and that always sucks for me, because she is one of those clingy types and she's always all over him. So nobody can really hang with him like we normally do. But I love him so much because even though she is there he always makes me know that he cares about me. We just have a deep relationship and we care for each other. Its one of those friendships that we can not see each other for months and then just pick up where we left off. Anyway, so I left the party last night to go star gazing but I was in a fantastic mood. Feeling much better about my friend situation. Then this morning he drove over to my house and woke me up just so that we could have a personal, real good-bye. It meant ALOT to me and I hope he knows that.
My friends mean so much to me. I love them all, even when they suck. All of them touch my life in a different way and here are my thoughts on you all personally.
- we are God's gift to each other, you are my best friend.
- I'll marry you one day
- I wish I knew more about you, but so far you've amazed me. You're my best friend in town 2.
- I wish you would have let me be your friend...your life would be better off. You would have actually had a friend that cared about you.
- we should hang out more. We need each other in that group.
- you saved my life
- you hurt me. I had to stop being your friend. But I wish we could be friends now. But I'm afraid you'll do it again.
- I know that you want to know God, but your afraid that they will treat you like you treated me.
- I wish you would realize that you deserve better then what you settle for.
- Be who you are. It's ok. I wont judge you.
- I wonder if she had lived, If we would still be friends?
- 3/4 you are a great friend. Its no wonder that our friendship has lasted and the others didn't.
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