On My 1st Day of College

On my first day of college, I learned how to eat with chop sticks. Seriously, I went to pei wei for the first time to eat lunch and a friend made me do it. I don't know for sure why that is significant to me, but I think it has something to do with the fact that the very first thing I learned during my college experience has NOTHING to do with book knowledge. Instead it has everything to do with practical life experience however small and insignificant. In fact these past couple of days of this new higher education I haven't really learned anything of collegiate substance; just merely reminded of what I already knew. Now I don't have an unrealistic notion that I wont learn anything in school, that's not the case at all. I am simply just observing these first few days. But while I have spent the last 84 hours or so as a college student I have experienced things I never have before, and through these experiences I have learned alot about myself, life, and what I want from it. Interesting how just being presented with the "college life" can make you so aware of what's going on around you, and what you just might learn from it. So here's to chop sticks, and college.

College Mode

I've been mentally in college mode for about a year now. Totally prepared and ready to go. So now that it's here I couldn't be more excited about it! I'm not nervous at all though which I think is kinda weird. I already have fallen in love with the "college life" I've started to lead. I've been doing my own thing, being really independent and I love it. I still really miss all my friends that have scattered but I'm really starting to like hanging out with my new group. And I'm even more excited about getting into classes and making new friends in Denton! So for now I'm really happy...but then classes haven't started yet...lol I'll let you know what happens.

words

I couldn't put what I feel into words that made sentences and paragraphs, so I opted for bullets

-I want college to start
-I want to go home
-I love living in flo mo
-I love hanging with the guys again
-I miss my friends
-I really want/need a job
-It would be nice to get this particular job
-I like my new phone
-I don't know anybodies number
-I need to read my bible
-I can't stop crying
-The internet is boring me
-I know I did the right thing
-I've lost 6 pounds because I've been sick
-I don't know if that's a good thing
-I miss him
-Summer needs to end
-I need less free time
-The sadness needs to go away
-I haven't gotten much sleep lately
-I needed references today and I realized that nathan is no longer pastor of student ministries
-I need a guitar
-I need guitar lessons
-I heart anna nalick
-I miss lunch with kelsey and I'm glad that's starting soon
-I'm nervous about my responsibilities
-I'm nervous about getting a job
-I'm not nervous at all about school
-I wish I had gotten the free t-shirt, but it was fun hanging out
-I really love that my mom misses me

My Day

To start my day off I must first tell you a little something about last night. I felt terrible! I have some sort of Upper respiratory disease and it gave me a soar throat, serve chills, a massive head ache and all around body ache. So I was at my friend sarah's house for a going away party and I was feeling so bad that I left but I went to my house instead of Chris' cause I just didn't think I could drive that far. So Because I was at my house this morning I had to wake up early to go over to Chris' and feed the dogs. After that I sat around a while and didn't really do much until about 1 when I left to go to my doctors appointment! That took forever and then I had to go to walmart to fill my prescription and get some food. I didn't get back till 430 and I knew that i wouldn't make it in time for church. So I took a shower and did my hair and make up and feed the animals dinner but that took longer then expected. So now I'm just killing a bit of time before I meet Tyler for dinner. And there you have it folks, an uneventful day in the life of Lauren.

To the people I love

For me high school was not overflowing with fantastic friends. In fact it started out quite terribly. I had a few good friends from middle school freshmen year, but then when the school's split my sophomore year, all but one left. That one was my only real friend all year. But then that friendship ended, and it ended quite hard. I've always had friends, but my "friends" have always been more of "people that I hang out with on occasion". They have rarely ever been true friends that care about me. I spent most of high school trying to forgive those who stabbed me in the back, and trying to care for those who didn't care for me. But after a few months of not having a single person to hang out with in the end of sophomore year God opened a door at CBC. It was hard to get involved and in it was hard to break into the group, but I never gave up and finally I had friends again. I say "again" but really I had friends for the first time. I had real friends. I had people who cared about me. People that noticed when I was gone. People that thought to call and invite me to things. People I could trust, and love and people that loved me back. I was still fighting that friendship war at school, but the people at cbc gave me a home and they gave me hope. I have spent the last two years of my life loving them, and thanking God for them. This is why I have cried everyday for the last week. This is why I have wanted to spend every moment with them. This is why I will never forget any of them.

On the middle ground of life

The Middle Ground: The point between start and finish.

I hate the middle grounds of life, but I feel like I'm being surrounded by them right now. They are kind of like transitions but much more than that. It's uncomfortable, awkward, uneasy, and time consuming. The only light in this darkness, is that I know that the end of a middle ground is marked by growth.