Just a Short Thought On My Family

If someone was to write a biography on my life and my family, I would imagine that most people would think it a satire.

On the 4th of July

The 4th of July is my favorite holiday hands down. And this year I missed out on it twice. The first of the two actually being on July 4th. Due to ridiculous rains this summer Texoma lake was flooded and the fireworks were canceled. We did go somewhere else on July 3rd, but that doesn't count because the show sucked! Worst firework show I've seen! Then the marina on Texoma that was doing the fireworks was going to have the show on labor day weekend. So of course we went to the lake but my folks got into a fight and they were both PMSing and decided not to go at all. Therefore my favorite holiday was a complete wash! (you really don't understand how bummed out I was)

However...God provides. This past Saturday night I went to the UNT football game with some friends. Which was in its self a God thing since I had a bad day and fully planned on staying at home alone and sulking in my misery....but I went anyway. It was a lot of fun! AND UNT WON!!!!! 31-21. WOO HOO!! Anyway, as we were making the trek back to my car a bunch of fireworks started to go off. They set off a ton! (I guess they had a lot to get rid of since they never win!) So I got really excited and sat down in the middle of the side walk (completely in the way) and enjoyed the show. It was great. Just a little piece of heaven.

On Becoming an Adult

A dear friend recently said that, on becoming an adult, she has been swarmed with an unsettling sense of obligation, and responsibility. I have yet to turn 18, but the day is approaching quickly, but I have already started to feel this too. To me all 18 represents is jobs, college, bills, decision making, adult stuff. Granted, it's exciting at times. But more then that, it's scary.

To be truly transparent, I would have to say that I am scared of the future. For me, it is so uncertain right now. I don't know where I want to go to college, or what I want to do. I have never had a job before, nor had to pay any bills. For that matter I've never really had to pay for anything. On the topic of college however, that is where I find myself mostly insecure. Though my parents are against it, I could if I really wanted to, go out of state for college. I could go anywhere. But I don't truly have a passion for any certain place, or even a passion to get out of Texas, so I'll most likely stay here. But still, Texas is a large state and has many options. Again, my parents are against it, but if I wanted, I could go anywhere in Texas. But honestly, I don't think I would want to. I'm insecure. I want to live on my own, but not away. I want to be independent, but not to far away if I need them. I don't want to leave my sister and let her grow up as an only child. I don't want to have to find a new church and find my place all over again. I'm scared. So I'll say that I want to go to UNT, and that my parents want me to go there. And that's great. But really, I want to go to UNT because I'm afraid to leave, and truly be on my own. I'm afraid to really be an adult.

good news

I'm happy again! Things are going well.
-today we took choir pictures, and I forgot, but luckily I had gotten up early to look cute anyway....I lucked out!
-I've finally dove into my bible study on Ephesians....something I've been procrastinating since the early summer. I'm only on day four, but I think starting my day in the word is what brought me out of my funk.
-I'm super excited about the possibility/reality of making a Christmas cd
-It's extremely difficult to write a song....ugh
-no longer addicted to charmed! Whoot! I now have 2 more hours in my day
-my ridiculous English class is watching a knights tale for two periods!
-I'm starting to enjoy my friends again