As I was sitting in Jimmy John's eating my #5 vito sandwich on wheat bread with peppers, I was reading the signs hung upon the wall. One in particular caught my attention and made me laugh several times. I think I'll share it with you.

16 Things that it took me over 50 years to learn--Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstance, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. There is a very fine line between a "hobby" and a "mental illness."

3. If you had to identify, in one single word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well, just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman the even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic backgrounds, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay Attention. It never fails)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Final thought: Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the women to stop the snot out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.