On The Thoughts of Late

...Have you noticed that myspace and facebook are exactly the same now. They both have slowly morphed into each other. Interestingly enough, as this has happened I have lost 90% of my own interest in them. I just don't have the time to devote to it these days.

...My next point, time. Most people my age usually accommodate for their lack of time to do things by just not sleeping. This seems like a great idea because it adds a whole 8 hours on to usable day! To bad for me that sleeping happens to be one of my favorite pass times. In fact in the rare moments when I do have down time to do nothing, I will usually be sleeping. This has become a problem recently as "senoiritis" has started to kick in (side note: I truly believe that senioritis is 100% mental and if people never used the term we wouldn't think about it) I would much rather sleep then do the things that need to get done.

...The before mentioned Christmas cd is done....Thank God.

...This Christmas is the first time that I have ever bought presents for my family with my own money. It's kinda nice.

...Downloaded a new ringtone for my phone....super excited about it!

...Having issues finding a mug worthy of mug exchange wed! AHHH

...I have been feeling like writing a poem lately, but I've had nothing to write about. Sad Day.

...The stress level of everyone in my house has started to effect relationships.

...My brother has bought a lot and is having a house built. He is 22! Although I'm not super happy that he is living back at our house till April when the house is supposed to be done, I am really proud of him. for his past, he has really bounced back. He is by far the most successful people of his age that I know. He has proven every teenage statistic wrong. However, I know that all of this is because of God. Ryan must have something amazing set out for him. It amazes me that with everything he has done in his life that he is still alive, among other things. Two things I'm thankful for, my brother, and that God has protected him so well.

...Ive been on an artistic adventure. In my ap gov class I sit with two girls who are extremely talented and they have helped me along. I'm quite impressed with myself. Before I thought that I would forever be stuck at stick figures. But no! I have moved well past that! YAY! I'm not great or maybe even good, but I'm just happy that I'm improving. : ) (Kelsey would be proud of me if ever showed her any of it)

...Ive been so stressed out lately, but I wanted to read something. I did not want however, to have to think hard about what I was reading, so I found a solution! I'm reading a book called The Misfits, I bought back when I was in 7th grade and never actually read it. : ) Its a 10-14 year reading level! lol Its sorta ridiculous, but its easy and I'm enjoying its simplicity. But in light of said simplicity I have chosen to read something Of literary worth soon. I would say next, but my mother wants me to read a Christmas book, so I might do that, then read either Pride and Prejudice or The Scarlet Letter. I also bought another of my favorite authors (Francine Rivers) books, The Prince, from her biblical men series. So I'm excited about getting to that one too. It's about Jonathon.

On Life Recently

Sunday service was really good I thought. I enjoy when Mike teaches; I think he gives a very scholarly feel that I enjoy now and then to mix things up a bit. Anyway He taught about thanksgiving and what it means to live a thankful life and how to do that. I really liked his metaphor of the clothing making machine and weaving the thread of thankfulness into our every day lives. Gave me a new prospective. So I'm thankful for this past Sunday's lesson, and I'm thankful for Mike's scholarly presence.

Also, recording Christmas cds is a pain! Technology has been Trevor and I's biggest problem. Freezing computers, or the program doesn't work. Then after we spend time figuring out that mess we set upon tackling another song. Each song takes around an hour to do. It's quite the ordeal!

I turned 18 last tuesday, and really haven't done anything 18ish yet. I did register to vote, but that's about the only 18 thing worth doing. For my birthday I got the 1st level of the Rosetta Stone Italian Language Learner. (Since I'm going to Italy for 22 days this July) It's pretty darn sweet! I would recomend it to anyone for any language! I've learned more in a week then I ever did in 2 years of spanish at school! It's quick, easy, and even kinda fun. It's like one of those educational video games! I'm really enjoying it. Maybe Ill get the 2nd level for Christmas! I'm gonna be fluent in Italian before I ever step foot on Italy's soil! ....Well Im not sure about that, but I'm really excited about the trip.

Just a Short Thought On My Family

If someone was to write a biography on my life and my family, I would imagine that most people would think it a satire.

On the 4th of July

The 4th of July is my favorite holiday hands down. And this year I missed out on it twice. The first of the two actually being on July 4th. Due to ridiculous rains this summer Texoma lake was flooded and the fireworks were canceled. We did go somewhere else on July 3rd, but that doesn't count because the show sucked! Worst firework show I've seen! Then the marina on Texoma that was doing the fireworks was going to have the show on labor day weekend. So of course we went to the lake but my folks got into a fight and they were both PMSing and decided not to go at all. Therefore my favorite holiday was a complete wash! (you really don't understand how bummed out I was)

However...God provides. This past Saturday night I went to the UNT football game with some friends. Which was in its self a God thing since I had a bad day and fully planned on staying at home alone and sulking in my misery....but I went anyway. It was a lot of fun! AND UNT WON!!!!! 31-21. WOO HOO!! Anyway, as we were making the trek back to my car a bunch of fireworks started to go off. They set off a ton! (I guess they had a lot to get rid of since they never win!) So I got really excited and sat down in the middle of the side walk (completely in the way) and enjoyed the show. It was great. Just a little piece of heaven.

On Becoming an Adult

A dear friend recently said that, on becoming an adult, she has been swarmed with an unsettling sense of obligation, and responsibility. I have yet to turn 18, but the day is approaching quickly, but I have already started to feel this too. To me all 18 represents is jobs, college, bills, decision making, adult stuff. Granted, it's exciting at times. But more then that, it's scary.

To be truly transparent, I would have to say that I am scared of the future. For me, it is so uncertain right now. I don't know where I want to go to college, or what I want to do. I have never had a job before, nor had to pay any bills. For that matter I've never really had to pay for anything. On the topic of college however, that is where I find myself mostly insecure. Though my parents are against it, I could if I really wanted to, go out of state for college. I could go anywhere. But I don't truly have a passion for any certain place, or even a passion to get out of Texas, so I'll most likely stay here. But still, Texas is a large state and has many options. Again, my parents are against it, but if I wanted, I could go anywhere in Texas. But honestly, I don't think I would want to. I'm insecure. I want to live on my own, but not away. I want to be independent, but not to far away if I need them. I don't want to leave my sister and let her grow up as an only child. I don't want to have to find a new church and find my place all over again. I'm scared. So I'll say that I want to go to UNT, and that my parents want me to go there. And that's great. But really, I want to go to UNT because I'm afraid to leave, and truly be on my own. I'm afraid to really be an adult.

good news

I'm happy again! Things are going well.
-today we took choir pictures, and I forgot, but luckily I had gotten up early to look cute anyway....I lucked out!
-I've finally dove into my bible study on Ephesians....something I've been procrastinating since the early summer. I'm only on day four, but I think starting my day in the word is what brought me out of my funk.
-I'm super excited about the possibility/reality of making a Christmas cd
-It's extremely difficult to write a song....ugh
-no longer addicted to charmed! Whoot! I now have 2 more hours in my day
-my ridiculous English class is watching a knights tale for two periods!
-I'm starting to enjoy my friends again

A Side Note

My hand-eye coordination is really off today. I am not a clumsy person for the most part but today I have run into several walls, doors, random decor items...etc. It's quite ridiculous!