really freaking cool

so my parents got me an iPod touch for graduation and its really cool! So I just thought ild post a blog telling you (and sorta brag) about the fact that I'm posting this on my touch! Its really not that difficult to use the mini keyboard thing but it does take longer. Either way its still cool and fun to mess with. Anyway, tonight was spent packing for Mexico, also known as the greatest week life ever threw at you. I'll post a longer more exciting blog telling you all about my trip when I get home.

Right now I'll just leave you with a big woo hoo cause I'm a freshman again and that excites me!!!

Out of Order

So I'm not quite sure what is up, but I think that maybe my tear ducts are out of order. Tonight was my last choir concert in high school, and I should have cried. But I didn't. Not even one tear. I even tried to think of all the sad stuff and force myself to cry, and it just didn't work. Graduation and all my friends scattering just hasn't hit me yet. I still have two whole weeks of school left and I just haven't gotten sad yet. I know that I'm not terribly torn apart because I really don't care that much that people are leaving. There are a few people that I will really, truly miss, but honestly I won't miss a lot of them. I've had some really terrible friends these past couple of years who just really never cared to much about me and so I'm not to sad to see them go. However, I know that when Senior Speeches roles around for church I'm going to be crying like a little baby. I will honestly miss every single one of them. Those people have been my true friends, and so many of them are close to my heart. So I'm looking forward to a huge display of water works, but for now, I'm just out of order.

AHHHHHHHH

So this tomorrow I have my sisters first ballet performance, prom(both pictures and sleepover are at my house) and then sundayI have mexico mission meal, and tea party with Cera! It doesn't sound like a lot, but oh man am I swarmped! There is so much to do just to prep from prom and attend everything! Ugh! I can't wait till its all happening and I can enjoy it. Now I have to go clean my house!

Great Provider

For some reason I am still amazed every time I realize how much God provides in my life. Today was amazing. God answered so many prayers in just one day; I'm a bit overwhelmed. First off, my worries about my senior slide show are no more; the picture situation has been remedied. Secondly I was worried about paying for Mexico since my dad's company didn't give me as much as expected and I knew that I wouldn't get what I needed from my short list of other letters, but He knew exactly what I needed and provided an amazing sum of money from a completely unexpected source! Also, since I've been stressing so much with everything that's been going on lately when I had to chose a song for our senior cd for bible study I just sorta chose a song and I was like "whatever, its a good song". I didn't realize at the time though how much I really did identify with the song and I probably would have chosen it anyway even if I had really spent some time thinking about it. God just put it in my mind to randomly pick the perfect song. (Jeremy Camp's Beyond Measure) So Thank God. He is the Great Provider. Every good and perfect thing comes from God the Father.

AP European Test

....Is tomorrow and it starts at 1. I really wish that I had 2 more days, that would be enough, but as of now I'm just not sure if I can pass it. I've been in cram mode all of today and yesterday, minus when Kelsey persuaded me to skip studying for bunco night. Which I actually ended up winning a subway gift card which made lunch especially yummy today! But I really want to pass this test. I feel like I actually have a shot at this one but that I'm just slightly unprepared. However, when looking at the big picture I have realized something. This is the first time in my life that I have actually REALLY studied for anything. (any still worried about passing) I think that no matter how I look at it, that this a growing experience. I'm getting a taste of what college might be like. Late nights with my spider coffee cup, (thanks Kristy) hours spent at Barnes and noble reading a book that I'm too cheap to actually buy, and really wanting to learn something.

Through out high school I've had a number of good teachers. However, this year Coach Lamon has trumped them all. Not that he is a better teacher, or that I have learned more in his class, or that I like his teaching; though all that is true, but he just genuinely loves learning and he has the ability to share that with people. That is what I love most about him. Also, I know he genuinely wants us to succeed and grow as people; not just students. He has instilled in me a real desire to learn and to not waste my talents. So, thanks coach.

12:55 am

It's late and just like every other day since Saturday I'm still awake, and have no intention of going to bed for at least another hour or so. I have recently become a night crawler. I usually cherish my sleep but lately I've just found other things to do, or other reasons to stay awake. Tonight I have several reasons to be awake.
-I have alot on my mind and by staying busy I can block them out for now. However they will flood my mind when my head hits the pillow.
-I'm trying to back up all my music and pictures on this funky machine thing.
-I'm also trying to transfer all my music to my laptop....this is a huge pain so far.

My day was really good until about 9 o'clock and then it all went south. At the present moment I feel like a terrible human being who refuses to learn from her mistakes.

Days Like Today

On a day like today, I feel a little bipolar...just like the weather. A bit of rainy day syndrome and a little bit of sunshine excitement. But Mostly I feel like becoming lost inside my own thoughts on life and love or lack there of. I feel like becoming lost inside new music. I feel like taking a nap. I feel like reading outside. I feel like just sitting at home and enjoying my own solitude but in a good productive way. But instead I think I'll grab a cup of coffee and go to church for mid school bible study. On days like today I feel a little out of place with the world.