good news

I'm happy again! Things are going well.
-today we took choir pictures, and I forgot, but luckily I had gotten up early to look cute anyway....I lucked out!
-I've finally dove into my bible study on Ephesians....something I've been procrastinating since the early summer. I'm only on day four, but I think starting my day in the word is what brought me out of my funk.
-I'm super excited about the possibility/reality of making a Christmas cd
-It's extremely difficult to write a song....ugh
-no longer addicted to charmed! Whoot! I now have 2 more hours in my day
-my ridiculous English class is watching a knights tale for two periods!
-I'm starting to enjoy my friends again

A Side Note

My hand-eye coordination is really off today. I am not a clumsy person for the most part but today I have run into several walls, doors, random decor items...etc. It's quite ridiculous!

Today

So far my weekend has turned out quite well I think. I might even be coming out of my funk. YAY! Anyway, today is a great day to:
relax
read the newspaper
catch up on homework
watch tv
read a book
practice my music for all state

But so far I have not done much. I spent my day cleaning the house from the destruction my brother caused. I did get a little music rehearsal in and that brings me here, playing on the computer, when I should be reading The Prince and doing my journals for Euro hist. Oh well, I'm a great procrastinator!

Enjoy your Sunday!

Green Day

I thought I would dedicate this day to a little band called Green day, since they once wrote a song that within its first few lines sums up my whole day.

"Do you have the time, to listen to me whine. About nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone no doubt about it. "

Today...had it's highlights, but over all just a very sucky day.

Saw you at the pole

God freakin rocks.

I've never been to a "see you at the pole" event. I always say I'm going and every year I either forget, or don't wake up on time. Well my senior year, and I finally went. Its was great. It's so encouraging to come together with other believers, most who I didn't know and just pray for our school and worship. Some boys brought guitars and they led us in worship and then we broke off into smaller groups to pray. After that those boys had to leave along with some other people but the rest of us just stayed and sang songs as they came to us. It was pretty fun. Then as the remnant prayed together in a circle, people kept asking God to show us opportunities to tell others about Him, and to just be a shining light in our school for Him. The cool thing was that He actually did give me that opportunity.

In Ap gov, as I was rummaging through my binder I had a flyer for syatp in the pocket and a friend of mine asked me what it was. I was kind of caught off guard since I just assumed most everyone knew about it at least, but I guess not. So through that I was able to explain to her and the other two people at my table why we gathered together earlier that morning. Soon they were asking me questions like why Christians tended to be more fellowshipy (don't hate on my word) then people of other religions, and about salvation through faith vs. faith and works, along with some other stuff. It was pretty great. I just thank God that I was able to speak to them (a group of very liberal, anti-religious kids who also regularly take part in the teenage statistic stuff) and not come off as a close minded Jesus Freak, who only wants to bible beat and condemn them to hell, which is how they feel about most people who talk about God around them I guess.

So the moral of today's story is that when you ask you shall receive.

Just some stuff

-I'm still in my funk, and it's starting to annoy me!
-I got to hang with my awesome friend Taylor today!
-I love my brother, but I'm DREADING the day I live next door.
-I'm super happy about getting 1st place out of 130 girls during my 1st phase of all state auditions this past sat.
-I think church did a really good job on communion tonight.
-I finally got to finish This Present Darkness by Frank E. Peretti on Saturday. It was pretty good. Made me think a lot.
-I decided to walk to go get the paper today. WORST DECISION EVER!!! I did not realize how long of a walk it really was and I was so hot and sticky by the time I got home. It was miserable!
-I still don't have a clue about what I'm going to do in college. It's annoying.
-I spend WAY more time thinking about what I'll do this summer then I am thinking about school next year! I think I might take a student tour through Italy, Greece and a day trip to Ephesus! Super Cool. I'm not for sure that I'll be able to go yet, but I'm looking into it and really want to. So far things are looking up.
-So excited that ski trip is still on. Although I am bummed that I will miss Battle cry.
-I hate that Ive had such a hard time waking up lately.
-Ive started to embrace senioritis.
-I think Ill go to coffee shop this Thursday.
-right now, I should be doing homework......again, senioritis.
-besides talking to Taylor, Ive basically quite using myspace and facebook.
-Ive been making time for all the wrong things.
-Yesterday was a day that I wished that I was still young and ignorant to what was going on around me.

Teenage Battle Scars

I'm not a generally naive person who thinks things like "drugs aren't a big deal at our school", or "That's a nice girl, I just can't see her having sex at such a young age", but I do like to think that while these are issues among other things, that's some how it's still under control. By under control I mean that there is a normalcy and limit of teenage bad behavior. However, today I had a run-in that told me differently. Teens these days are really running wild whether we realize it or not.

I was sitting in a class today and we didn't have anything to do. The girls at my table started a conversation about their boyfriends and their drama, typical girl stuff right? Wrong. My boy stuff and drama peeks at a level of: does he like me or not? is he cheating on her? who will I go to homecoming with? But these girls talked for an hour about their boys who ranged from ages of 17-30 and married!!! Keep in mind these are 17 year old girls too. And multiple boys. I wont go into detail but some of these stories I was hearing were incredibly unbelievable. I have even recently heard a story of a girl who waited for a while and went slow in her relationship but finally gave in and was dumped a week later. Most of the girls came from not so hot homes and had history with all the other normal teen stuff. Then finally to top my day off, I found out that a friend was into some tragic habits and it blew me away that I'm close to this person and didn't have a clue.

Now these are just instances from today and I could add many more from days past. But I am just floored that so many teens today are involved in sex, drugs, alcohol, cutting, and not only involved because I was all ready well aware of that, but to be in so deep and to have been in for so many years. Some people I know started this routine at 13! It's sad. Not only a sad statistic but such a sad reality to watch these boys and girls, my peers and my friends be so lost and confused, be so caught up in their messes, and be so alright with it. Its sad.

But where does that put me? I'm wondering today how it was that I have managed to come through most of high school with virtually no battle scars. Sure I keep a pretty clean cut group of friends but I have friends who aren't so good too. And yes, I was brought up in a good home and had the chance to watch and learn from other peoples mistakes. But I attribute my being able to get through high school resisting the teenage stereotype by God's grace alone. I find myself thanking God today for protecting me from this suffering and for allowing me to understand and come to love Him at such a young age and have time to grow. I have been tempted on several occasions with various things and without God I would have fallen to the pressures like so many of my friends have. It amazes me how truly evident God is in my life. But I take it for granted by glorifying myself and MY "good choices". But no, I have done nothing.

So today I encourage you to look at your life and search out the ways that God is evident in your life. How has He protected you against temptations or suffering? Or how has He helped you out of those places when you do fail? Don't take God for granted today. Praise Him, and let your "good choices" be to His glory!